Archive for August, 2004


Laughed my butt off over this:

Sunday Boondocks


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I don’t like Mondays,
I wanna shoo-oo-oo-oot,
The whole day down…

Just kidding, but it was the only lyric that came to mind regarding Monday. Thank you Boomtown Rats!

The Morocco countdown is in full swing this morning. We leave on Friday afternoon. Am I excited? Not yet. I am never excited about trips until I am actually on them. Too much prep work, which this trip involves, makes me a sourpuss. I don’t think I have ever packed for a two week trip since I was 10 going to my Aunt’s house in the summer. Plus, the gifts. I am buying mostly for the nieces and nephews as they are easy to ply with sugar and colorful things like toothbrushes (I am THAT aunt…hehe). At least I cover my bases – things to rot your teeth and things to unrot them. Full circle. To be honest, I did buy them sugarfree bubblegum… They won’t know the difference, hopefully.

We found a house this weekend that we may possibly rent. A nice 3 bedroom set up with a garage, huge yard with an apple tree (!), in a nice older neighborhood that doesn’t look like a vinyl shanty town. And, for the unbelieveable rent of 650 a month. We’re paying that now for our two bedroom, 800 square foot shack of an apartment. What a windfall. Alhamdulillah! Hubster’s looking at pictures that I sent him to give the okay to seal the deal before the owner goes back to Dubai. This is a real opportunity for us as a family to have some space and not be in each other’s faces all the time… also it would give Hamza some space to explore and be less bored in the house. Especially since he is almost walking. Wow.

Hamza Update:
Doing well. He survived the weekend with just the grandparents while dad went to Oujda to visit the Shaykh. He is has more molars crowning and I think this may be the first difficult teething he has had so far. Little bit of a fever, but nothing bad. I can’t believe how many teeth he has! That must be ten now. Now, if he would only learn to talk! (I know, don’t push it, he won’t shut up, etc etc etc Mother in my brain). Its will to be sad to bring him home where there are no cousins to play with…

Off to work with me now.

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Hooting with Laughter

I went through a period recently where I stopped reading CAIR emails because they depressed me too much. I’ve started back, slowly… I found a link to a letter to the editor from Arizona State University’s newspaper. I am going to include the text here because I enjoyed it so much.

Alamoodi: FBI house call brings thanks
by Yaser Alamoodi

Dear John Ashcroft,

I know how busy you are fighting evildoers, yet I feel the strong urge to let you know how much I appreciate your checking in on me. In case you forgot, I’m referring to your FBI agent taking the time to stop by my home to have a pleasant “voluntary chat” with me this summer. It was a generous gesture on behalf of you and the taxpayers.

In these difficult times of terrorist chatter and presidential elections, your agent reminded me that our government is taking no chances, especially with us Arab and Muslim people. When your agent first approached me, I freaked out. Why would the FBI drop by my house unexpectedly? Did my neighbors mistake my Arabic hookah pipe for a WMD? Have I questioned our president’s direct access to the Almighty God?

After a few minutes with your personable agent, I breathed a sigh of relief. He informed me that my name was on a special list kept by the Joint Task Force on Terrorism. His job was to talk to those on the list to see how they were doing in school, work and to ask about their love life. You have no idea how much better I felt. The whole visit made me look dangerous and suspicious in front of my buddies, adding to my aura of mystery that’s always been popular with the ladies. You know how badly I needed that, since I was left out of the round-ups immediately after the terrorist attacks.

The agent asked if I knew of any upcoming terrorist attacks. He was curious if I was acquainted with anyone showing “interest in government buildings.” I told him that most of my friends are political science majors and a lot of them wanted to work for the government after they finish school. For some reason, he was not satisfied with the answer. I guess it’s because most of my friends are liberal Democrats, and we all know how those people are untrustworthy, anti-American troublemakers. But don’t worry, I will try to convince them to go work in a Birkenstock shoe factory where they belong.

It is nice to know that you guys are committed to these community outreach programs. I’ve heard about racial profiling, but in my case I just can’t see it. When a government agent knocks on my door, it’s not because of my ethnic background, it’s because they know that immigrants must struggle to make it in their new country. It’s not a sign of discrimination; it’s a family gesture from a caring, thoughtful big brother. It inspired me to refer to the FBI as the “Friendly Brothers of Islam”.

I know you have a tough job to do, and I want to help you do it. Because of how closely connected I feel to you, my mission is clear. My objective is to defend America by turning everyone to into a conservative-leaning, Fox News-watching, truck-driving, Toby Keith-listening, gun-toting, Clinton-loathing, tax-hating, gay-bashing, welfare-abolishing, Republican-voting, screaming redneck to guarantee our freedoms and peace of mind. It will not be easy, but I have a strong will and my precious hookah by my side.
Yaser Alamoodi is a political science and religious science senior.

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Shallower Approach…

Obviously, my content recently has not inspired anyone to comment … *weeps* So I will stoop low and do what I know works – QUIZ!! If this doesn’t work, you are all dead or zombified and bots are surfing on your comps… (I know you’ve been here!) 🙂

1. What time do you get up?
Alarm goes off at 530 am… About two snoozes later I roll out.
2. If you could eat lunch with one person, who would it be?
I don’t know
3. Gold or silver?
4. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
The Last Samurai
5. What is/are your favorite TV show(s)?
6. What did you have for breakfast?
7. Who would you hate to be stuck in a room with?
George Bush
8. What/who inspires you?
Really smart, pious shayukh who dedicate their lives to learning Islam for the benefit of others.
9. What is the name your parents were going to name you if you were the opposite gender?
Spencer (yech!)
10. Beach, City or Country?
11. Favorite ice cream?
right now, Homemade brand chocolate chip
12. Chocoloate covered or yogurt covered?
Yogurt covered raisins!
13. Favorite color?
14. What kind of car would you buy if you could choose any one?
Suburu Outback
15. Favorite sandwich?
Egg Salad
16. What trait do you despise in people?
Talking over people (Annie Coultie, selafis…)
17. Roach or spider? (That’s for you, B.!)
spider… but not a biggie!
18. Where are you going on your next trip?
Morocco – 7 days baby!
19. What color is your bathroom?
White — its an apartment
20. Without looking, what is the meaning of Ameliorate?
I thought it meant to get rid of something (I was wrong)
21. Where would you retire to?
Hawaii or Japan.
22. Fav day of the week?
Right now, Saturday. No little boy right now so I get to sleep in!
23. Paper or Plastic?
Paper, with handles please!
24. Plastic cups or glasses?
Glasses – either water goblets or pint glasses.
25. What is the most baffling thing you have seen someone do recently?
Where heeled, strapless sandals with a serious ankle wrap.
29. Coke or Pepsi?
30. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
31. Birkenstocks or Clark’s
Birks baby, yeah!
32. Do you have any pets?
Two cats

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Phone call to the Maghrib

I spoke with my husband this morning as I made my way into work. I dialed all the requisite 40 some numbers one has to input using international phone cards and international phone numbers before I started the car. Talking I can do while driving, dialing I cannot. And, alhamdulillah, the call went through on the first try. And someone answered. Who spoke English. And my husband was home — in Casablanca, Morocco. We have missed each other recently by phone because the lines go bad some days and you can only hear every third syllable said. Today’s only obstacle was a time lag — very easy to deal with in comparison.

Our son is having a blast, he said. At home, he only plays by himself as he is still an only child. In Morocco, he has cousins upon cousins upon cousins, older and younger. He’s also learned how to kiss, my husband said. If you ask him now, he opens his mouth wide and plants it somewhere on your face. I can only imagine that you want him to avoid the nose as he has eight teeth, all sharp and new. My husband has had the free time I am enjoying here, being able to be child-free for a while and enjoy it without guilt. His family dotes on our son and he has taken to them as well.

Today, husband is getting a haircut. My husband has an Arab ‘fro, so to speak. There is no way for it to be curlier and he can’t find anyone in our backwater midwest metropolis that knows how to cut it with scissors versus a pair of electric clippers. At home, he cuts it himself. What a mess! A good haircut from a proficient barber/stylist makes anyone feel a little bit more self-confident and clean looking. Any Maghribi barbers looking for business in Indiana?

I leave for Morocco in less than ten days now to join my son and husband. This will be the first time I meet my in-laws. All at once. They have a habit of all showing up at the airport to pick you up. My experience outside the United States have been limited to family vacations in Mexico and the Carribbean and one trip to Tokyo. I hope I can be a gracious guest, daughter-in-law, and sister-in-law even when confronted with situations that I would not choose for myself here in the States. I am mostly unashamed of liking the comforts of the West like air-conditioning and pre-packaged meat at the store. But when in Rome… 🙂 I’ll like it too.

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TrueFresco– Outta here!
Its gone, I have removed the code, and I will forget it existed because it had to be wrong. TrueFresco wrote the code that I had on the page that let you know your referrers for the last 24 hours (yeah, right — somehow, 54 clicks from UZ’s blog was a bit unbelievable considering what my sitemeter was saying). And it was screwing up my side bar this morning. Last straw, broke the camel’s back… blahdy blah.

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Human Pin Cushion… almost

After having done The Smart Thing™ for my son and had him immunized for his trip to Morocco, the thought occurred to me that I might need a few myself. Haha… and boy did I!

Things I have learned about Immunizations

  1. Your General Practitionor does not do immunizations for you.
  2. Your child’s pediatrician does immunizations.
  3. The adult travel medicine clinic is about as speedy to schedule as your annual gyne visit or an INS screening.
  4. The pediatric travel medicine clinic at Riley Children’s Hospital scheduled me for the next day.
  5. Four shots on one day sucks. Four shots every three months sucks worse. I am so sorry Baby Boy. Mommy’s arms feel like she got socked by a big brother.

The following vaccinations are killing my arms right now: Tetnaus/diptheria, Hepatitis A, Typhoid (!), and Polio. One of them burned like acid going in. One I didn’t even feel the needle. The other two were somewhere in between oh and ouch.

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