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Archive for October, 2004

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Almost halfway through! (Ramadan, that is!)

And so far, so good. Allah, subhana wa ta’ala is making my fasts easier for me this year than last. What a blessing.

I went to a community iftar on Saturday night at ISNA and then stayed for tarawih… I tried to pray Isha in the main musalla with the sisters down there, but I was so uptight about Hamza running around free… I salaamed out of the prayer just in time too: another boy, about 7 years or so, was holding the door open for my son in to the stairwell, Allah forbid. My gut just drops out thinking about it. Alhamdulillah the planners of the masjid there built a nice balcony that can have its doors closed and made mostly safe. But as I saw my son pushing chairs around on carpet, no less, now I have nightmares about him falling over the railing. (which is glass, btw)
Then on Sunday night, another iftar! I love getting out of the house and especially with people who don’t get uptight about little kids. Hamza did really well and our host, a mother of six mostly grown children, was more than relaxed about the fact he was there. She actually expected him to dump his plate and had already prepared for it. Jazakallah khair to the sister.

I am at work now… how exciting. I am bored off my rocker this week. Slow times. I am going to use what is left of my comp time this afternoon and ditch this joint! 🙂 heheh.

By the way… since my gigantic rant last week… Hamza has finally started going to bed earlier with a bit less fuss. Either he conks out on the floor or I just take him into the bedroom and he falls asleep. Alhamdulillah! No freaking out for the most part. In addition, he is starting to figure out that I need to do work in the kitchen some night or in the living room and is dealing with it better and not “freaking out” for that either. I honestly feel like I had a prayer answered. “After difficulty comes ease…”

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If you can’t tell, I’m surfing…

I found a great site that does slogans where you can fill in the word you want sloganed…

So far we have gotten:

Allah Makes Everything Better.
Because I’m Worth Hijab.
An Army of Allah.
P-P-P-Pick Up A Hijab.
Moving at the Speed of Ramadan.
Think Siyawm.
It Needn’t Be Hell With Prayer.

For a Hard-Earned Thirst, Fast.

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Nice quote…

I was looking at Avari’s blog and he has a new headline written in urdu with an amusing quote underneath that I couldn’t resist reposting…

“Brothers, please don’t ask the sisters why they aren’t fasting.” – NYU Islamic Center Whiteboard, 2001

Heheh…

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Thank you!

Thank you for the support and suggestions regarding the mommy situation. 🙂

So far, apple wedges have gone over well. He gnaws at them for a while. Spagetti sauce with meat was good last night… the noodles were another story. I think we may find them under the couch when we move. And, of course, on the day mommy is about to move into nuclear attack mode, little boy is an angel, eats well, plays nicely, and falls asleep on the living room floor at — get this — 8PM! *rolls eyes* Man, does he know how to push the limit or what?

Day five of Ramadan commences… fasting is going okay. Having a bit of trouble with work and my oral fixations: I always have a drink next to the computer. Water, soda, anything… but always a drink. I suppose its better than jonesin’ for smoke, haha.

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Tired Mommy

Just as fasting is going really well for me this year, being a mother is not. If I didn’t actually love this child, I would be gone on this game. I feel like we (husband and I) are in a losing battle as parents. Yes, we made it through the first year… but that was more a struggle with ourselves and not with our son. Learning how to live on broken sleep, an abbreviated social life, and putting someone else’s needs before your own. Now it seems like we are struggling more with our son as he defines himself and his personality.

Presently, he sleeps with us the majority of the night. It was cute in the beginning but is not any longer because he wakes earlier and earlier in the night to come sleep with us. I can deal with the partial night sleeping because I’ve had half a nights sleep already and am sleepy enough to fall back asleep even if I am sort of cramped and contorted… When he comes in at 10 or 11 p.m. before I’ve even gotten to sleep I can’t fall asleep. Its any number of complaints on it, but the bottom line is that I can’t sleep and sleeping is a very important part of my good mental health plan. When I don’t sleep, everything else starts going to pot.

In addition to sleeping with us, he now hates the crib. He never had a problem with it for his entire first year. I really think it has something to do with the feeling of being lowered in over the side… the mattress is in the lowest setting, the bars are up at the highest. I can understand that being obnoxious. I am thinking about moving the crib into our bedroom to see if we can come to some sort of compromise sleeping situation.

To top of the whole night time sleeping debacle (as I see it) is the fact that the little won’t wind down in the evenings no matter what I do. We take a warm bath, we put on pajamas, turn down the lights, turn off the television, turn off the house (basically) and he’s still going strong. At 9 or 10 p.m.! ARGH! He barely sleeps nine hours at night and gets a two hour nap in the daytime… Is this on target or what? I don’t know. Lately, I have to physically go to bed with our son to make him sleep… where else? Our bed. And I usually end up falling asleep myself because it takes him half an hour to find a comfy spot and stop twitching. I guess I didn’t mention this earlier, but I can sleep with him in the bed if its only him and me… just not when its all three of us.

We are finally feeding DS table food 99% of the time. You would think this was great, but its a new difficulty for me as I don’t cook much. I think he’s really sick of the rotating pasta-mashed potatos-fishsticks menu. I don’t each many veggies myself in the foods I make — just as a side usually, nuked in a little water and that’s it. DS doesn’t like them and won’t eat them. He used to eat TONS of veggies when they came from little jars. I don’t know if I am feeding him enough… He only takes the bed time and night time bottles any more… nothing in the daytime from me on the weekends and only a few ounces from the babysitter on the weekdays.

He’s into everything and anything. We’ve had to cover all the buttons on the television and CPU. We unplug the computer monitor so he can’t turn that on and off. We hide the remote controls and the cordless phones. He climbs everything. He hits toys on glass windows and I am afraid he will break them – the windows that is, not the toys.

Alhamdulillah, our home is mostly safe from many hazards, but we can’t take him anywhere. He’s a monster and I feel like a horrible parent (you may already think I am through this rant). I am embarassed to take him to other people’s homes because of his behavior – he heads straight to anything he isn’t supposed to do! He doesn’t understand no. He doesn’t understand that he pushes all of mommy’s buttons and she gets so angry that she’s meaner than she meant to be. I get so angry… and there’s nothing left to do but let him scream and me go away-outside, the bathroom, the hallway. Dad works odd hours, usually seven days a week, even odder on the weekends, so there is rarely anyone to turn the little boy over to when I need a break. We don’t have any family close by.

Thanks for reading/listening. I needed to vent but hadn’t until now. Nothing is changed. I’ve just gotta go on another day.

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Asalaamu alaykum, and Ramadan Mubarak!

So far, so good with Ramadan. Today is day four of the annual fast fest *grin* and its going easier than any other year so far, alhamdulillah. I am actually very surprised about that as fasting has always sat very hard with me and felt like a hardship. This year, so far, has been much easier, even though I am having to play with food all the time for Hamza and we have both been uber-sick over the weekend. Alhamdulillah!

I don’t think I will be able to get out of the house in the evenings for Tarawih this year because of Hamza… too young and too fussy. And the only masjid I will take him to is at ISNA because of its large balcony space — which is a bit of haul in the evenings. Insha’allah, one night, I hope. But… I did pray tarawih at home for the first time ever and that was fabulous. I didn’t know that we could do it at home until I read a post over at SunniSister about it… wow. I felt like it was a huge accomplishment.

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Nice evening, new formats…

Hamza and I had a nice evening. We got home from the sitter at 430 pm or so. He had yogurt then I cleaned while he watched. Fifteen minute living room fly-by (Thank you Flylady!!!) gets things in shape rather quickly. We played, we ate more, he took a bath, we watched the news and That 70s Show. He actually conked out at 8 p.m. Maybe it was the thought of another snore-fest debate on television between the Shrub and the Kennedy-wannabe.

I did not watch the debate last night. I have been enjoying some quiet times at home without the television on. I have been purposefully turning it off by eight p.m. to get Hamza to go to sleep easier. I get to bed earlier too. This is not to say I have stopped watching altogether… just trying to cut down, so to speak.

Work has slowed down a bit, alhamdulillah. We need a short break from all the hustle of the last few weeks.

We are moving at the end of November, insha’allah, to a house that we are going to rent from a Muslim family. Alhamdulillah! I am very excited about this. We are going to take a year there and plan on how to buy a home of our own. The new house has three bedrooms, a large living room, large kitchen and dining area, and TWO bathrooms! Woohoo! And, to top it all off, a back yard the size of Rhode Island… haha, just kidding. It is huge however. Make dua for us that this move is easy and that the house turns out to be a good decision.

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