Well… in a pattern that is becoming way to familiar, I am blogging in the wee hours of the night because I can’t sleep. I went to bed at 10 and woke up at one only to toss and turn… and now, look for dead spiders in my bed. (Thanks Jilbabble)
I’m sitting here sort of upset because husband is going to a housing seminar tomorrow. Why would that upset you? His friend bought a house through them and it was cheap and he only pays $300 a month in mortgage, blah blah blah. And I ask who is putting on the program. He says its a Christian group and I’m thinking something like First Horizon which is a Christian home loan group who is trying not to do riba… No. Its Habitat for Humanity. Are we really going to be that poor when I quit my job? I worked my ass off four years in college so when I was thirty, I could quit my job to stay home with my kids we would be living hand to mouth and qualify for a Habitat home???????? I just want to cry. Seriously. I worked on Habitat homes in college — we are talking poor of the poor, people who have trouble makine the $300 payment per month. Why is my husband such a freaking slacker that we have to consider a Habitat home?? I know he is looking for a deal… but that is not the deal I want. What the hell was I thinking when we got married thinking he wants to do better with his life and have a better job. If he did, he would have, with or without me. I was such an idiot. I think about this a lot.
Last night, I was up at 2 a.m. in this same routine of wakefulness. I was incredibly thirsty and proceeded to drink about 60 oz of water in the middle of the night and a juice box because I was going to die if I didn’t drink it. 🙂 I also fell down the stairs during this time on my tailbone. Very pleasant and I recommend it to everyone. My feet are really dry and my heel slid right out from under me and down I went bumpedy bumpedy bump. I am quite surprised I don’t have more than the little bitty soreness I have. I was also a complete clutz last night – in the process of making dinner I spilled breadcrumbs in the sink, kicked the cat water across the kitchen AND burned my finger on my pyrex coming out of the oven.
I wasn’t able to keep my fast today because the last three days have seen me so dead worn out by early afternoon that I am almost non-functional. Yesterday, I was so drug out. I felt good today, but still, even with lunch in me, my tummy acted like I had fasted all day by iftar. Must be a parasite. 😉