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Archive for July, 2006

I got to go swimming for the first time in five years last weekend. Me, who used to be a fish in the water during the summer hadn’t found a place to swim since I became muslim. Cute son came as well and it was his first time in a pool too!

For eight bucks, cute son and I got to spend two hours in an indoor, over-chlorinated pool. And I loved it. The swim center had two pools, one for kiddies (for lessons) which was warm like a bath and an adult depth pool which was a bit cooler.

Hamza was like a leech on my head. He wasn’t having any of this leading around like my friend and her cute daughter were doing (sidebar: her cute daughter was such a natural – not excited, not fussing. Totally accepted the situation and had this whole “dude” aura around her. And she’s 18 months. Totally unlike my leech.). We swam around, played with toys. Wefinally found out that cute son LOVED the water noodles. I put one around him and suddenly, my head was free!

Mr. Potty Trained had to make THREE trips to the bathroom during this two-hour period – which meant we had to trek into the subarctic locker room from the 85 degree pool room. Yikes! And, after we got out, he looked at me, all solemn-like and said, “I went potty in the water.” Well, now we know why the chlorine is at poisonous levels!

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I was afraid to say anything more last week because I didn’t want to attract undue attention before things settled down for cute son.  But, he did it. 

Daytime Potty Trained!!!  (and using nighttime protection)

Woohoo!

Hubster has been hounding me about letting cute son go at his own pace.  Apparently, all the children in back homelandia get potty trained by 18 months.  Yeah, right, whatever.  Maybe a few, but mostly you just steal their diapers and do a LOT of laundry that way. 

The funny thing is this – cute son did this mostly by himself.  He watches us constantly in the bathroom (how else is he going to learn if he never sees his own parents use the bathroom?) and we got him a seat for the toilet.  Then he just decided at one point about three months ago that he didn’t want to have a BM in the diaper anymore.  Just like that.  And it only happened once because I didn’t get him the bathroom quick enough. 

The babysitter wasn’t the most thrilled by me going cold turkey like this, but she saw the first day that he would ask if he wasn’t wearing his own personal porta-potty around his waist.

So, masha’Allah, alhamdulillah and subhanallah! 

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  1. Potty training.  Almost there.  All #2 is in the toilet.  All #1 is in the toilet if child is NOT wearing any form of undergarment and sometimes if child is wearing underwear.  Yippee!!  The last package of huggies is in sight!  (also, kiddo wakes up dry in the AM). 
  2. Today was Cute Son’s first day at daycare without diaper.  We will see in an hour how that worked for us.
  3. Work sort of sucks.  The super busy season is upon us, I am taking work home with me (which I abhor) and getting minor panic attacks at the day goes on.
  4. Home sort of sucks too.  Nothing new… just shelving the divorce plans until after super busy season at work, which will abate after Labor Day.  If you know where I work, you know why.  Don’t out me if you do.
  5. I think hijab and other gender issues is making a problem of hypersexuality.  It takes the most random encounters, which in my preMuslim days would not have meant anything, turn into the most weird shite in my head.  “Oh God, we touched fingers!”  Read title of post to figure why this is happening. 
  6. My son and hubster are going on a trip together next week.  Without me.  To Boston.  Sorry, UmmZaid.  I could not pass up a week to be alone.  If I went with them, I would only be there on a Friday night through Sunday (whereas hubster is going on a Tuesday and leaving on a Tuesday or something like that).  It would be rushed and expensive for not much fun.  Hubster has been begging me to come because his friend’s mother is there too, along with their kids (who are being raised in Morocco)… but I know something Hub does will piss me off, make me act shitty and embarrass him.  Why do that when I can stay at home, read books, work more, go see a movie (at night, at a theatre) and so forth.
  7. I need to stop eating out.  I just don’t feel like cooking.  Big slump here.
  8. Restarting FlyLady.  Thank god.  My sink looks nice.  I bought the book too.
  9. Its hotter than blue blazes here.  Yesterday, the smog looked like LA.  Our AC was DOA last week when we turned it on for the second time since moving in (I don’t use it unless I just can’t move around because its so hot)… Took four visits by maintenance to get it fixed.  Complicated.  But now, nice and cool.
  10. This thing happening in Israil, Leb and Pal…  its bad.  I know that’s an understatement.  I stay away from the news for the most part because I can’t take it.  I feel like it is snowballing and something really awful is going to happen involving nukes because Israil does not care about limits, morality, forgiveness.  I am very sorry for all the citizens of Israil who do not condone their governments actions – you can’t help where you are born  (I don’t see myself leaving the US even though the gov sucks big time).  I am very sorry for all the innocents, noncombatants, mothers and children who are being maimed and murdered because two dumb soldiers are being held.  You don’t punish an entire country for something it doesn’t control.

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Logic in Catland

The last week or so has been cat drama.  My baby cat Misch got out one night and pretended she was all that and a bag o’ chips and got smacked by another cat.  Somehow in this altercation, she got a claw jammed so hard the bone came through her paw.  Dang, cat!

(more…)

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Unwanted Advice

In a previous post, I alluded to really annoying things people do when they find out (or you out yourself like an idiot) that you are getting a divorce. 

I would like to add especial emphasis to number 1.  Do not give advice on counseling. Period. Don’t do it.  Its really pissing me off.  If I wanted to go to counseling, don’t you think I would have gone to counseling???  Don’t you think if I wanted to save my marriage, I would have been a little more creative than seeing an attorney?  Hmm. 

I want to to add an adendum to my list as well.  Quit praying for my marriage to suddenly unsuck itself.  Depending on your glass half full, half empty scenario, you are praying for us to stop our bad habits or to STFU and live with them.  Let’s be constructive here and pray for me (us) to have strength, guidance and wisdom in our decisions, pray for mercy and compassion between my hub and I so that we can find a way out of this that doesn’t scar our kid for life, pray for resources to become available to make single parenting less daunting.  Heck, pray for me to make a better choice and for my hub to make better choices in the future in regards to spouses.  We lied to ourselves and each other about how we were and what we were going to become. 

So here comes my unwanted advice of the day to you in regards to marriage:

Choose well.  The person you marry today may very well be the same exact person you are married to in 30 years.  If you just can’t stand certain traits or habits in a person, do not expect them to change – live with them if you can, hope they might, but if they make you crazy, go away and leave that person in peace.  At best you will resent each other, at worst one person will go away feeling like less of a person because they can’t be what you want them to be no matter how kind and feeling you are about their changing.

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Back home, with little ado. Trip went smooth, even with the connection that was a million light years from home. At least it wasn’t two connections. Alhamdulillah.

Cute boy did well this evening. We went out for some dinner, came home and took a good walk which included all the sprinklers. Having some bedtime problems, but I think its because its our first night home. He’s gotten out of bed four times so far and I am about throttle him. Tuck me in, tuck me in, as if I hadn’t done it umpteen times already. I hear someone stomping around upstairs and I am not sure if its the new neighbors or the kid… (we have a townhome)… I don’t know how far upstairs thumping carries in townhomes.

On our walk today, I saw how much cute boy is growing up. He will be three next month. That never seemed very old or accomplished to me, but now it does. He has changed so much from the helpless, almost personalityless infant he was to quite a little boy. He knows how to be cute, how to carry on a conversation (that one still blows my mind), is polite (thank you very much!). He ran around at the play ground with the bigger boys as if he was one of them, ran like them and just had such a grown up face that it amazed me.  He also did something so typically male that it blew my mind (I thought they learned this stuff): He wiped his face with the front of his shirt.  Girls/women don’t do this.  Too cool to observe.

Back to work tomorrow.  Wowee.  I just have to keep reminding myself: it has health insurance, even if it is crappy and getting crappier, it pays my bills, allows me to live comfortably and uses my mind at least once a week.

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I went to the big T for a little work trip/vacation trip.  Work was over the weekend and vacation was the time around it.  Took cute son with me.  He has been hanging out with his gran and having a ball. 

We were sitting at dinner tonight having a little 4th ‘o July dinner with some mashed potatos and steak and corn on the cob.  Cute son and i were talking about how I can eat faster because my mouth is bigger (haha i know I have a big mouth).  Cute son says, “When I am a big boy, can I get a big mouth?”  Nice.  Out of the mouths of babes. 

Poor kid is getting eaten alive here.  Mosquitos think he is a tasty treat.  He hasn’t been outside for more than an hour in two days and the bugs got him 3 times on the legs.  Pants are not such a bad thing in warm places.

Trying to figure out our fireworks schedule for the evening since it is raining outside (ick) which makes it hard to sit outside.  Hrm.  I really want to see fireworks and I don’t want to be two miles away.  Might not happen.

Anyways, that is the long and short of things.  Will be home at the end of this week (not excited about it either).

Miss you all… can’t blogcheck this week… slow dial up connection… makes blogging weird.

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