Even though I don’t understand RSS or use it, I suppose its the only reason I got three (THREE) comments yesterday after not blogging for several months.
So, now we start the serious transition. We’ve told our son that Daddy is getting another house. He asked why and I said because Daddy and I want our own spaces and Daddy said because we have money. The first is true, if evasive. The second is possibly true since, in true back-homelandia style, there are usually large amounts of cash squirreled away in the damnedest places.
We’ve got to figure out dumb things like child support and living schedules. As I am not employed as of yet (I really don’t feel like changing this – I’ve grown accustomed to going to bed at 2 a.m. and getting up at 8:30 – that’s like 3 or 4 hours of PERSONAL time every single day), I will probably be doing the bulk of things. And until someone else gets with the program.
I really hate the fact that my son will have to learn things about his father as he grows up that will disappoint him. That he’s a big talker, but a slow mover.
I don’t want to be single. I want company, companionship and love. I’ve got a biological clock on top of it that’s beating like a drum. I don’t know how I am going to find someone else. I don’t date. I don’t want to find someone else that I like before getting married and then dislike later.
There’s no good segue out of that conversation. Hamza turned four this month. Alhamdulillah. He’s 40 inches tall, 30 lbs, and is a mimic. He repeats everything. Some days I want to strangle him. Obviously, I haven’t.
We’ve been swimming this summer. A lot. I bought a really nice, modest swimsuit from Splashgear. Tres cute. Hamza decided he LOVES swimming since we bought a 50 cent inflatable tube from the Dollar Store. He is no longer my little octopus sucking up to me in the water.
I am attending a Doula training seminar hosted by ALACE (Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators) this weekend. I’ve been excited about this for a while — the chance to see babies born! The chance to help people have the birth they want to have. If I had had a doula, I think my own birth experience would be tons different.
Enough for tonight. I’ve got to work myself back into this slowly. I am going to go read a book and relax for a while.
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