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Archive for April, 2007

Have you seen this?

I laughed outloud when I saw this — and I was watching the uber-serious Planet Earth series…

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quiet sunday

I wish I were better company for myself as I often find myself without the company of anyone but a 3 year old and two cats, none of whom carry on good conversations.  The kiddo is trying hard, but he has so much to say, it all gets stuck in his throat at one time.  The cats … well, they purr and whine for food.  Sort of like the kid.  That’s disturbing.

Its been two years today since my Mom died and I miss her like its yesterday.  I thought grief and missing your loved ones was supposed to get easier and not harder, but its been getting harder.  I can’t believe in my mind that’s been so long since I had a conversation with her and it tears me up still.  I still talk to her all the time in my head.  I wonder if she felt like this about her own mother.  I never asked because I was only 11 when my grandmother died and it never occurred to me to ask.  I suppose it never would have unless I had lost someone else important to me first.

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Interview Meme

B from Underwater Light tagged me for an interview meme.  I like these… and your questions were really good!  Here goes…

1. Now that you’ve been a SAHM for several months, what do you think about your experiences?

You would ask me that wouldn’t you. I can’t say its been the optimal experience considering all the things that are going on in regards to my marriage. HOWEVER– as a general whole, I’ve never felt my stress level this low and I don’t feel pulled in too many directions. Before, it do this for work, do this for Hamza, do this for family, do this for husband…. and everything had a deadline and I was tired all the time and jittery in a way I didn’t even recognize until I wasn’t anymore. That being said, entertaining a 3 year old is far more difficult that finishing a mail campaign or planning a banquet. People followed my instructions then, more or less. Hamza just says no. And then we butt heads. Literally. Nowadays, I love my mommy friends more. I love that spending a day hanging out with a good friend is a very productive day for us because its socialization and good play time for my son. I love the library. I love reading tons more than I used to. I love not using my alarm clock often. I love that I don’t feel pressured to put an entire day of parenting into 5 hours between work and bedtime.

2. What is the best book you’ve read lately and why should I read it?

I am going to give you two. Lucky you.

First one: Life of Pi. It has a cool picture on the cover, for starters. Second, its an incredible story that is supposedly true.

Second: This is really earthy-crunchy, but I loved it. And it has a hokey name. Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May Gaskin. She is a self taught midwife from The Farm (Wiki it if you must – I did, as the extents of my granola nature are my birkenstocks and my need to handwash stuff just for fun). Half of the birth is birth stories from mothers who gave birth mostly outside the predominant medical model using midwives from The Farm. The other half is serious reading about childbirth, the process and what midwives do. One conclusion I am came to out of reading this is that the medical structure and society at large in the US looks at childbirth as an emergency where so many things can go wrong versus the viewpoint that childbirth is a natural process that most of us are able to do with minimal intervention given the proper mental, physical and people tools.

3. You have a penchant for unusual words and names. Where do you find them?

The internet is a fabulous beastie! 🙂 I have fed my love of unusual words by googling “strange words” and “unusual words” Phrontistery has given me some of my weirder ones like farrago and aboulemania.

As for names, I *heart* Celtic (with a hard C) and Irish names. (And scottish names as well, but I don’t have much of a heritage with them. I love the way they look and sound with the different sounds for the consonants and vowels.)

4. Where do you hope you’ll be in five years?

Beats me.  I sort of turned my life upside in the last six months and I will be digging out for quite a while.  In my mind, I have a wonderful marriage, a new baby, a house that is just big enough that it won’t look cluttered holding all my things.  I suppose I’ll still be stuck in the midwest since I hate moving so much.  I don’t see myself going careerwise again.  That’s still hard to accept in my brain, but I really don’t miss that part of my life.

5. What is your favorite stress reliever?

Used to be eating before I got back on the anti-depressants.  I loved to go to Penn Station and get a Philly Cheesesteak with extra onions and mushrooms.  Yum.  Still sounds good, but it would take an entire day of not eating to get that hungry.  (On the good side, I have lost a small bit of weight)

My favorite stress relievers are reading good fiction, sleeping and driving.  I usually employ the driving stress reliever along with a honking huge half coke-half diet soda and NPR.  Its an exciting life, let me tell ya.

If you want to be tagged for a five question interview meme, be one of the first five people to leave me a comment asking for it and I will do my best to oblige.

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Dear God –

Thank you very much for patience.  I don’t have too much and I think what little I had, you helped me store up for this afternoon.  I don’t quite know why Hamza decided to have thermonuclear meltdown in the middle of The Bookstore that has his favorite train table in the universe, but he did and I didn’t kill him.   THANK YOU.  Also, thank you for the nice father who, instead of giving me the evil-eye-what-a-horrible-example-of-parenting look said, “We’ve been there too.”  It helped me not sink through the floor with mortification because Hamza threw trains on the floor because he was frustrated instead of just saying excuse me.

Additionally, thank you for giving the sense of humor to have found his meltdown funny once we got outside.  It was so uncharacteristic of him and so out of place that I started laughing.  Which just pissed him off more.

Your imperfect but trying servant –

Me.

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Just pretending

Life with a three year old is always something interesting.  Today, its eating woes and shopping.   We’re having eating problems again.  We were doing good for some weeks since the last bout of this.  I’ve been trying “Positive Discipline” type techniques.  This involves me not getting emotionally jacked up about him not eating multiple meals in a row and just putting the food away for later and offering it later when he’s hungry.  The kid survives off snack time and liquid breakfasts, neither of which is unhealthy.  Yesterday’s food count includes milk, 5 graham crackers, one chicken strip (lovingly cooked by Underwater Light), one biscuit, one cup of juice and a minuscule portion of pesto alfredo pasta.  Today (and its just past dinnertime), we’re clocking milk, a peanut butter granola bar, a fruit roll up (it was laundromat day and I have to buy some time), four reluctantly eaten over a 45 minute period chicken nuggets (which he asked specifically when I offered tuna salad for lunch), three french fries (from my lunch), and one bite of sausage.  The sausage was offensive because it had char marks from being cooked in the skillet.  *rolling eyes hugely*  I am so trying not to blow a gasket, but I’m losing the battle.

At the department store today, while kiddo did very well putting up with a girly shopping trip where I found three tops from the 80% off rack.  Clearance shopping is difficult with a three year old.  Hamza amused himself by finding hangers on the floor and pretending they were guns.  I have a gun obsessed three year old.  I find it slightly mortifying but am trying to work with it and not give it too much attention.  (I also bought him a foam sword to channel his destructive capabilities into.  Its not working very well, hence the hanger-gun.)  In order to make going through the jewelry section more fun (speak of the devil, my little gun toter just walked up with his hanger gun), I told Hamza he could pow-pow bad guys.  So, the first thing he does is pow-pow some nice looking older ladies, to my complete mortification.   I apologize in a quiet, embarrassed sort of manner, and one of the ladies asks my son if he is being naughty (in a nice funny way).  Hamza looks straight at her and says, “No, I’m just pretending to be bad.”  Those two ladies giggled their way out of jewelry at that.

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Real Moms

Real Moms take their kids to unhealthy eating establishments two days in a row like this:

because:

  1. The weather sucks (yet again after two weeks of summer like temps)
  2. Having a bad week
  3. Don’t feel like cooking
  4. Just want to veg with a book
  5. There are other kids to play with
  6. and they have a kid who does NOT value ALONE time.

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Cold, tongues, couscous

Let’s start with the weather: cold, freaking cold, in the second week of April. We’re talking freeze alerts at night and flurries in the daytime. IN THE SECOND WEEK OF APRIL. Who pissed God off? I don’t think it was me this time. (at least, not that big)

::

I got a bit of a wake up call today in regards to gossip, backbiting and slander. Someone I barely know is talking about things I do and don’t do to other people. Its strange. I am sure I have done it at one time or another, innocently and not so innocently, but being on this end is sad and eye opening.

The following things are said in the Quran about backbiting and slander:

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicions are a sin. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it, [so similarly, avoid backbiting]. And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.” Qur’an, [49:12]

“And do not follow that of which you do not have knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart – [you] will be asked about all of those.” Qur’an, [17:36]

“He does not utter a [single] word, except that there is, with him, [an angel] ready and waiting [to record it].” Qur’an, [50:18]

Additionally, the following is a hadith:

Prophet Muhammad said :”Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “God and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of God said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.” (Muslim)

Backbiting (true gossip) and slander (gossip that is false) are really terrible things that have huge consequences for ourselves. The tongue is one of two parts of our selves that get us into heaps of trouble for not being able to control it (the other is your genitals).

If you are truly worried about someone and the way they are practicing their faith, ask them or talk to them. If you can’t do that, give them the benefit of the doubt – we are supposed to come up with 70 excuses for our brother and sisters for why they might be doing something we think is wrong — it might not be in certain circumstances or it may be the lesser of two evils.

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In other news, we are having “back home” couscous for dinner tomorrow, God willing! Our friends are coming over for dinner tomorrow with his mother from back home who is pining for couscous. It will be so good.

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