Thank you to all of you for your kind words.
The way I feel is very strange. In some ways, I don’t feel like I lost anything at all. I have a bond and connection to my son that would wound me so terribly if it were ever severed – I didn’t have that with this pregnancy. I do feel like I was promised a trip to something like Disneyland and while we were driving there, full of anticipation and excitement, the car stalled, for weeks, before we could go back home.
I haven’t fully miscarried yet. Its driving me nutso. I think I’ve started enough that we can get some pharmaceutical intervention that would speed up the process. Its not just been the week and a half since the confirmation — its been four or five weeks since the fetus/embryo died.
From everything I’ve read, the bleeding is considered irregular bleeding and that I am not in state where I need to refrain from salat (five times prayers). I have issues with this that I won’t go into here — suffice it to say, it has to do with najis (impurities).
I think some part of me is not dealing with this right because I have this intense desire to get pregnant again right away. I think when I don’t, Allahu alim, I will have a lot of sorrow to deal with.
Assalamu Aleikum wa Rahamtulahi wa Barakatuhu,
I don’t see why you would be praying now. It is kinda like when you start labor nad your water breaks, etc. You don’t pray during that time and you don’t pray for the bledding afterwards, either. If you have started miscarrying, it is different from irregular bleeding.
I will look this up for you but that has been my understanding and I have miscarried several times. I also have two children, Alhamdulillah.
I looked it up and saw some strange fatwas about it.
I am not comfortable with it. I understand the issues you have with it.
If you are not supposed to pray after post-partum bleeding. what does it make sense to do wudhu and pray now?
Assalamu Aleikum wa Rahmatulahi wa Barakatuhu,
I went to islamicity.com. Look up question 5707 on their q&a and you will find that it doesn’t matter whether the pregnancy survived or not, it is post-partum bleeding.
If you go to islamqa.com, they gave a more difficult fatwa pertaining to type of pregancy loss, etc.
Personally, it is a difficult time already without you trying to keep clean for wudhu while dealing with najis (impurities of your physical body).
I know that there are times when bleeding doesn’t mean you have to stop praying, but in this case, I would make sure there are other fatwas.
Wa Allahu Alim. It will all go by so quickly, insha’Allah.
We are a middle nation. I would
I should have finished my thought before I sent the last message.
If you have to pray, then that means that you can resume intimacy with your spouse. Even according to the Dr.’s you should NOT resume intimacy at this time becuase it may cause infection (your cervix may still be dilated, etc.) Also, how do you know when your period is suppposed to restart since not even the Dr.s know?
I find that the Quran is clear when it says not to approach your wives during this time.
If you can’t be intimate with your spouse, then you shouldn’t have the obligation for salat. Wa Allahu Alim.
aa wa ra wa ba,
habibti,
sorry for crowding your comment space. I didn’t want to go to bed without letting you know what i figured out. It seems you have to pray until your miscarriage is complete.
Afterwards, depending on its color and if it lasts more than three days and if it has been 15 days since your last period (must be all three conditions), then you can consider it menses or haid (i think it is called). Then, you don’t have to pray. (In the case of a blighted ovum)
One website was islamonline.net.
Iinsha’Allah, it will be easy for you and it will all go by quickly.
Hey there honey…I have to say…knowing that you and I were preggers together….and both at about the same time….I got sort of antsy reading your post about not being pregnant.
When I had my ultrasound a couple of weeks ago, the DR LOOKED at the monitor for the longest time. It was freaky…..and as much as I was looking….I didn’t see the heartbeat, didn’t see any movement…..and she wasn’t talking. So I left that DR’s office bothered, to say the least. Then I happened upon your post and my mind sort of travelled with me.
Yesterday I went back to my DR and asked to have another ultrasound…in fact, I told her about you and your blighted ovum……she promptly got me back on the table and showed me the baby, showed me the heartbeat….and the baby was wiggling all over the place……alhamdulillah. Believe me when I tell you….that I truly understand where your feelings must be coming from. Insha Allah, you’ll get preggers again….maybe sooner than you expect!!
Alhamdulillah, honey. Oh…btw…I wouldn’t be praying…Allah is merciful…..don’t forget that.